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You Might Be A Line Dancer If...

Humor on the Dance Floor
The following was taken from Julian Gothard's LINE & COUNTRY & WESTERN DANCE & MUSIC FAQ and is reprinted exactly as posted. For further information on all forms of country & western dancing, go to http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/jgothard/contents.htm

You Might Be A Line Dancer If...

Here's a little humor for the line dancers, compliments of Marlene Rutherford (Email: Eitherfoot@webtv.net )

If you would like to add a line to this list, send your suggestion to djdusty@country-time.com 
 

1.

...you always start counting with 5,6,7,8.

2.

...you grapevine down your super market aisles.

3.

...you have a "Neon Light" tan Line.

4.

...you have a separate closet for your dance clothes.

5.

...you mumble things in your sleep like " One more time " .

6.

...you know you can't eat anything off a grapevine.

7.

...you know the difference between Sheplers, Cheyenne, and Drysdales, or even know what they are.

8.

...you wear a belt buckle that costs more than your first car.

9.

...you try to purchase a hamburger with some "Kick-Ball-Change"

10.

...you own one or more pair of bowling shoes and don't have a ball, and can't find the alley.

11.

...you watch Friday night T.V. on Sunday.

12.

...the bar you dance at goes broke because you only order water.

13.

...foreplay is "5, 6, 7, 8"

14.

...your hands go into your pockets every time you hear country music.

15.

...your boots match your outfit.

16.

...your work boots have fringe.

17.

...you break your leg building a dance hall.

18.

...you look up while dancing and everyone else is doing the wrong dance.

19.

...you watch your feet while dancing.

20.

...perspiration drips off the end of your nose.

21.

...you ride 10 miles on a mountain bike and still go dancing that night.

22.

...you don't have a willing partner.

23.

...your wife stomps her foot and you don't pay attention.

24.

...a Trashy Women is a dance, not someone you find in a bar.

25.

...Ty England is a performer, not a geographical location.

26.

...Garth Brooks is a singer, not a retirement community.

27.

...Pigeon Toes don't refer to birds.

28.

...you don't fish with a swivel.

29.

...a jazz box is not a New Orleans honky tonk.

30.

...Patty Loveless is a person, not a condition.

31.

...you talk with your feet and not your hands.

32.

...when spotting, you don't need to turn your head unless the turn is more than 360 degrees